On Nov 5th, 2017 at what I thought was 7:15 am but was actually 6:15 am because daylight savings time had taken place; nevertheless, on this day I received my deliverance from the spirit of selfishness. Though I was walking, I learned I wasn’t moving. I had become so endowed with what I.I.I and Me. Me. Me (y’all get the picture) wanted til I wasn’t going anywhere, nothing was happening for me.
I realized nothing was happening because I no longer focused on the Kingdom and what my Heavenly Father wanted and needed from me. I was no longer concerned about doing the will of my Father. Though I said I was, my actions displayed something totally different. As I grew in this “all about me” atmosphere, I began to become irritated, frustrated, even angry wondering why in the world is God taking so long to open the door for ME... I would quote things all in anger like : “He is God, it doesn’t take Him long to do anything” or “He said my gifts will make room for me and bring me before great men,” (Proverbs 18:16) which is all true but not in the context for which I was declaring. My gifts became that of being about me and building a career, doing what I wanted, rather than being about serving Him with my gifts, after all, He’s the One that gave them to me.
Bottom line is that our gifts are not for us, there for serving God’s Kingdom and His people all in love. We get so consumed with using our gifts for other things that it can almost be viewed in the form of merchandising our gifts. You know Jesus had all the gifts in the world but yet His career was doing the will of His Father and as believers of Jesus Christ that should be our career as well, our focus and then the room will be made (Proverbs 18:16). See, I get it now, the more I focus daily on “the things above and not of this earth,” the less I have time to be concerned about what I want, what I’m not doing, what I don’t have. Y’all, yesterday I got so disgusted because things had not gone the way I had planned, I had hoped when I took a huge leap of faith back in May this year. I felt like, here it is almost a new year and I’m still not doing what “I “ want to do versus what God is calling me to do. I started feeling so forsaken, not realizing I had gotten engaged to the spirit of selfishness. (blame it on the only child syndrome… L.O.L)
The spirit of selfishness and to add, my inability to be patient caused me to question so many things spiritually. It caused my faith to be weakened. It caused weariness, spiritual blindness, spiritual hearing impairment, and the inability to stay focus, why, because it was all about ME and that’s NOT the way it supposed to be. If I be about my Father’s business His word tells me that “He will give me the desires of my heart,” (Psalms 37:4), but there is, like so many things in the word a condition.
So, I am excited to report that my life and my gifts are no longer about me, but like Jesus, “doing the Will of My Heavenly Father,” this is my new career, my focus, The Kingdom. I thank my God for deliverance and breakthrough and for yours’ too!!!!
From the heart of a writer!!!!